I went surfing today. Wonder of wonders, I found a road-side parking spot. Got into my wet suit, surf board under arm, headed for the ocean.
Malibu beaches are supposed to be beginners friendly. And they sure were. Meaning that I wasn’t the worst surfer there. Oh, who am I kidding, I was. Any surfer who falls of his board, just sitting there waiting for a wave has got to be the worst surfer around. In my defense, those things are pretty tippy.
I spent an hour, paddling out, seeing a good wave, paddling hard, catching it, but any attempts at standing up resulted in an immediate and ungraceful fall. With me and the board rolling and thrashing around in the white water. If you’ve ever tried standing up in a canoe and remain stable, you should try standing up on an 8 foot long laminated piece of foam.
So I learnt my lesson: Stay close to the beach and catch the white water and just try to learn to pop up (surfing term for standing up). I think I did it once for about 3 seconds. My personal best.
After 2 hours of this merciless beating, I took my lumps (literally)and crawled out of the sea, exhausted and panting. As I walked back to the car, wet and weary I noticed the admiring gaze of the drivers. “Look at that surfer dude! Must have been surfing hard. Looks like a real old pro. Peace man!”
Cool. I think I’ll get a well-worn short board, one the pros use; walk around the beach with it under my arm and shout out surfing tips to the people in the water. Make up surfer talk “Sit back on the board! Catch the curl before the rip cuts the crest! Look for the break and push hard for the ten!”
I just hope no one ever sees me the water.
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