Conversations with a Scammer

The Internet is a constant source of hilarity. I have been communicating in email with scammers for a while now. I tell them I am interested in that $5M free money etc and string them along for weeks until they beg me not to respond. But it’s all just too slow. I wonder if they’ll get back to me or not after my last antics.
Here is a new one though: Scammers on Skype. Instant gratification. I love the Internet. Here is the text of the conversation I just had, with my notes:

[11/23/2010 8:18:53 PM] alhassan.andan: Attention:
I have been in search of someone with your last name so when I saw your name I was pushed to contact you and see how best we can assist each other. I am Mr A Alhassan (Andani) a Banker (MANAGING DIRECTOR) Foreign Remittance Department in STANBIC BANK LTD ACCRA GHANA,WEST AFRICA I believe
it is the wish of God for me to come across you on Skype now.

There was some more blah blah here that I deleted.

One of our customer a citizen of your country had a fixed deposit with my bank in 2004 for 36 calendar months; valued at (Eighteen Million, Four Hundred Thousand US Dollars) the due date for this deposit contract was this 16 of March 2007. Sadly our customer was among the death victims in the May 26 2006 Earthquake disaster in Java, Indonesia that killed over 5,000 people. He was in Indonesia on a business among them.

Serves him right, the shady character! Deposits $18 million in Ghana, does busines in Java, has my last name!
Oooh, opportunity knocks! Rubbing my hands together…
More blah blah …

I am not a greedy person, so I am suggesting we share the funds equal, 50/50% to both parties, my share will assist me to start my own company which has been my dream. Let me know your mind on this and please do treat this information as TOP SECRET.

Oh poop! I didn’t see this part before posting it on the Internet. OK readers, pleeease treat this post as TOP SECRET! OK?

alhassan.andanibankerghana@gmail.com
bank web site for my profile: http://www.mbendi.com/orgs/deui.htm
Regards,
Mr A Alhassan (Andani)
Managing Director. STANBIC BANK LTD ACCRA GHANA,WEST AFRICAN
[4:00:39 PM] Me: Thank you Mr. Alhassan. I just won the lottery and won't need any money.
[5:25:56 PM] alhassan.andan: hello
[5:26:04 PM] alhassan.andan: i u there
[5:26:49 PM] Me: No
[5:27:03 PM] alhassan.andan: will can chat now
[5:27:55 PM] Me: I don't need any money. I just won 38 million.
[5:28:38 PM] alhassan.andan: ok thanhs be to god
[5:29:05 PM] alhassan.andan: so you can not help me
[5:29:28 PM] Me: No. I need no money. I am going to buy an island.
[5:29:55 PM] alhassan.andan: ok tell your friend about it
[5:30:25 PM] Me: half of 18 million is on 9 million.
[5:30:32 PM] Me: Who needs that?
[5:31:19 PM] Me: Good luck man. If you make it and wanna buy some property on my island, give me a shout.
[5:31:46 PM] Me: I think I'll only charge you 1 million per acre.
[5:31:55 PM] alhassan.andan: let your friend no about it
[5:32:22 PM] Me: you need to save up some for building a house too. So buy 4 acres and save the other 5 for construction.
[5:32:29 PM] Me: hey, u there?
[5:33:44 PM] Me: Well, good luck with the scam man. Allah be praised.
[5:36:06 PM] alhassan.andan: thanks bye
[5:36:47 PM] alhassan.andan: do u think i m here praying game
[5:37:05 PM] Me: Oh no. I know this is serious business.
[5:37:10 PM] Me: Tell me the truth.
[5:37:25 PM] Me: Does anyone EVER fall for this shit?
[5:38:08 PM] alhassan.andan: bye my brother have a nice day ok
[5:38:12 PM] Me: I mean some idiot may just go for it. May be one in a million.
[5:38:20 PM] Me: Hey, wait!
[5:38:27 PM] Me: I am just curious.
[5:39:01 PM] Me: How many people have you ever hooked to pay for the mailing of the letter, or the deposit, or whatver they have to pay first?
[5:39:04 PM] Me: How many?
[5:39:32 PM] Me: Does it really pay off?
[5:42:25 PM] Me: Ahhh c'mon...do go away! Can't we just talk?

And just like that, he walks into the sunset with $9 million of MY money.